there is unrest in the air

it’s honestly pretty rare that i get this feeling but it is rearing its ugly head and making its presence known today,
i am desperate for the air to change into something that will relieve my lungs and somehow refresh my thinking today.

there is rumbling underneath my feet and i need the change that will drip in with the storm’s passing, lay me down to sheepishly feign sleep in the midst of what we reference as war–this is war. 
because this is your life and it is on fire, catching embers from fire pits lit in other people’s eyes. not my own.
why not my own. who am i to think i will fare well feeding off the passions of others, 
it is only inevitable that i will be discovered hidden and ashamed soon;
i am stone cold smiling from ear to ear, heartless and shameless i will see you down.

why am i so fucking unhappy.

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